


Flowers and Blood

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: Rare Ships Creation Challenge [22]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Dean, Coughing Blood, Discussion of Medical Consent, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Multi, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: For years, Sam has been in love with Castiel.  Since Meg's been on the run from Crowley, Sam and Meg have been inching closer with a few dramatic shifts in Sam's opinion.  One of which left Sam with the realization that he loved her, too.So, of course, Castiel and Meg are together.Sam doesn't have time to let that upset him, though.  He's got to figure out why the hell he's coughing up flowers, before it kills him.





	Flowers and Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Rare Ships Creation Challenge Round 8: Colors
> 
> Pairing: Samegstiel  
> Prompt: Cyber Grape (a dark purple color)

The flower petals in front of Sam should have been pretty. They would be, if Sam didn’t know where they came from, and couldn’t see the dried flecks of blood that stained them. He was trying to research them, starting by figuring out what kind of flowers they were. Then he’d try to figure out why he had them.

A coughing fit came over him. It hurt like hell, and Sam should know how painful Hell is. When it was over, he carefully picked up the new petals and examined them. They were getting a little bigger. At first, they’d been tiny. He’d barely noticed the first time he coughed them up. If, in fact, that had been the first time. That had been a terrible day, and the flecks of purple on his hand were just the icing on the cake.

It had started with a missed alarm. His phone died overnight, so his alarm didn’t go off, so he didn’t wake up when he meant to. That meant he missed an interview he was supposed to be conducting, that had been hard enough to convince the guy to agree to the first time. He’d run for it, just made it before the guy left… only to find out it was completely useless. The guy didn’t know anything they didn’t already know.

Normally Cas dropping in made the day better, but this time, he’d brought Meg with him. Sam didn’t pretend to understand how the two of them even stood each other, let alone had become actual friends who trusted each other, but they had. He’d come around to sort of maybe not hating Meg after she’d looked after Cas in the hospital, and then came to truly like her after she’d sacrificed herself to Crowley to cover Sam and Dean’s escape after Cas ran off with the angel tablet. They’d saved her, which had been bad because the attraction he’d felt to her before learning she was a demon had come back, too. He’d been fighting the developing feelings ever since. After Ruby, it wasn’t worth the fight with Dean.

And then there was Cas. He’d loved Cas for years. He had good reason to never admit it, but when, after finding the demon behind the Winchesters’ current case and smiting him, Cas had told them that he and Meg had become romantically involved, Sam just sat there. Let Dean do all the ranting and the shouting and the requisite Sam-shaming. (“Don’t you learn from Sam’s mistakes? Remember what happened when he decided a demon was trustworthy enough to start fucking?” “Dean, Meg is not Ruby, and she has no ulterior motive.”) He’d even let Dean handle the shovel talk alone, something Dean very sarcastically thanked him for after Cas and Meg left. (“Thanks for the backup in there. You’re just gonna sit there and watch your best friend make the same mistake you did?” “Shut up, Dean.”)

Yeah, coughing up flower petals had been the perfect end to that day. In the two weeks since, he’d avoided Cas and Meg both, but he’d also avoided Dean, so Dean wouldn’t see the coughing or the flowers. Now they were big enough that Sam thought he could identify them. He’d already pretty conclusively decided that the largest petals, the ones with the yellow at the center, were purple irises. Google told him that purple irises represented wisdom, which made sense. The long, narrow ones, pale on the edges and very dark purple in the center, those he thought were hyacinth. Purple hyacinth was supposed to represent sorrow. The other petals he wasn’t sure about. He thought they might be delphinium, but he didn’t see how fun or lightness were a part of him.

 

Dean was not an idiot, no matter what Sam thought. He’d noticed Sam was avoiding him and trying to hide something, and he was sick of it. He’d heard coughing, and noticed Sam trying to hide the coughs. He’d been through Sam lying about coughing up blood once, dammit. And he’d listened, and he’d learned. They needed to break the patterns between them, lying and blaming and hiding things from each other. So it really, really irritated him that here Sam was, lying and hiding something from him again.

He found Sam sitting at a table in the Bunker, holding a flower petal under a lamp. “Planning a garden, Sammy? Gotta find just the right shade of… huh.” He noticed the small pile of flower petals by Sam’s laptop. Some looked fresher than others, and the freshest ones… “Is that blood? What the hell are you doing, Sammy?”

“Nothing! That’s not… it’s nothing, Dean. Don’t… just ignore it, okay?”

“You know there’s no way I’m ignoring this now. Is this some sort of… nature magic? Flower petals and blood, that’s all I can figure…” Dean trailed off as Sam started coughing. Instead of running off like normal, Sam stayed. This time, Dean could see and hear just how painful this cough had become for him. It worried him. A lot. Even during the Trials, coughing up blood, it hadn’t been like this.

He forgot that when Sam held out his hand once he was done. More flower petals, the blood still bright against the dark purple. He stared at Sam. “It started a couple weeks ago. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on, but… haven’t found anything like this in the lore.”

“Well, shit. Sammy, you gotta tell me about things like this! Yes, I’m worried. But I’m not gonna try to throw you into fights when you can’t breathe right! I ain’t the researcher you are but I can do it, and sometimes I find things you miss. We coulda been looking together.”

 

A couple days later, Dean hadn’t found anything, either. He slammed the book he was using closed. “Screw this. CAS!”

Sam looked up from his laptop. This was the last thing he wanted to do. “Don’t call Cas! He’s probably busy!”

“What could be keeping him busy enough he doesn’t have time to check you out? He’s gonna be just as pissed as I was when he finds out you been keeping this secret.” Dean looked vaguely upward. “CAS! Get your feathery ass over here!”

“Dean.”

Sam buried his face in his hands. If Dean had to call Cas, couldn’t he use the phone like a normal person? He was vaguely aware of Dean telling Cas what was going on, but he couldn’t pay attention as he started coughing again. This fit was a particularly bad one, and when he looked at his hand, he could see the hyacinths had started coming out in full clusters instead of just loose petals. Great. That would explain why it had felt like he was literally coughing out a lung.

Cas took Sam’s hand to examine the petals. Sam bit his lip and looked away, trying to keep Cas from seeing the tears that the coughing pain had caused. Cas let go of his hand and walked around behind Sam, touching his back over his lungs. Sam took the chance to set the petals on the table and wipe his eyes.

“Sam, I don’t understand how, but you have flowers growing in your lungs. Other than the coughing, are you having any trouble breathing? Does it hurt now?”

“No. Other than the cough, I’m fine.” Sam took a deep breath to prove it. No trouble. No pain.

“Flowers in his lungs? Can you get ‘em out?” Dean demanded.

Castiel put his hand on Sam’s back again. Sam could feel the grace flowing into him, but he felt it hesitate and draw back. “Sam, I could remove the flowers, but there would be a cost.”

Dean rolled his eyes and moved closer to them. “We’ll deal with it. Gotta be better than coughing up petals.”

“What’s the cost, Cas?”

“The flowers in your lungs are tied to your memories and emotions. If I remove the flowers, those memories and emotions would be gone as well.” Sam processed that. There were certainly things he wouldn’t mind forgetting, but what if he forgot Dean? Or Cas, or his dad, or Jess? Castiel seemed to sense his hesitance. “I can’t tell what you’d forget, or what emotions you would lose. This could drastically alter who you are.”

“Don’t do it. I’ll just… I’ll live with it, I guess. Until we can find another way.” Sam sat down and opened his computer. At least he had something new to go on in his research.

“What? Sammy, you…” Dean rolled his eyes and threw an arm out at Sam. “Cas?”

Cas stepped back. “Sam, if this becomes life-threatening, would you rather die or have me make the attempt?”

“The hell kind of question is that? This is gonna kill him, you save him!” Dean shouted.

Cas didn’t respond, giving Sam time to think. “I… I’ll let you know if this gets bad enough to where I’d rather have my brain messed with than live with it. If it gets bad enough I can’t talk, do what you gotta do so Dean doesn’t kill you, too.”

“I understand. I’m going to call Meg and see if she has any ideas.” Sam felt a tickle at the back of his throat as Cas left.

 

When Cas came back, Meg was with him. “Yo, Sam. Hear you got a floral little problem.”

Dean rolled his eyes as Sam started coughing again. “Yeah. Got any ideas how to fix it?”

“Actually, yeah. Something like this, sounds like a witch’s work, right? So set a witch to find a witch. Once you find the witch who did this, you can make her reverse the spell or kill her. Sam, you been spurning any witches recently?”

“No… at least, not that I know of. How do we find a witch when we’ve got nothing to go on?”

“We take this to another witch. I know one who owes me a favor.” Meg held up her hands at the horrified looks from the Winchesters. “Not like that. She’s a natural witch. Doesn’t have any dealings with demons. I mean, other than asking me to look the other way while she smuggled magic potions in to a couple of the patients when I was looking after Cas in that hospital.” She sighed as the Winchesters continued to stare. “Good witch. Her kids are hunters. Swear on Cas’s grace.”

“It’s worth a try.” Sam looked over at Dean. “If her contact can fix this without the risk of me forgetting you…”

Dean threw up his hands. “Fine. Whatever. Trusting another demon, what a great idea.”

 

Meg’s friend turned out to be a witch named Tasha Banes. Sam told her what was going on, and Tasha gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “Come on inside. We should talk alone. Max, Alicia, be sweethearts and take care of these three while I’m talking to Sam?”

Max nodded. “Sure thing, Mom. Saw your car, Dean, she’s gorgeous. Mind showing her to me?”

Sam followed Tasha inside. “Okay, honey. I’ve seen this before. Only once, but you don’t forget some poor girl nearly dying because of flowers. Shame Bobby Singer’s dead, he could’ve told you exactly what this was. It’s a Japanese curse invented by a witch named Hanahaki.”

“So it is a curse. How do I find the witch who did this?”

Tasha shook her head. “It’s probably impossible. This could’ve happened when you were five years old and just kicked in now. There’s a few cures. The easiest is to get your angel friend out there to get the flowers out of your lungs, but that causes complications. The best is to treat the actual problem instead of just treating the symptom.”

“Huh? How is coughing flowers not the problem?”

“The same way the fever’s not the problem, it’s the infection. Hanahaki’s curse was to punish a man who loved her but wouldn’t leave her alone. So, you’re in love with someone, they don’t love you back. You can either try to make them love you before the flowers kill you, or you can get the flowers removed. If you do that…”

“Then I forget them, and my love for them,” Sam guessed. The emotions and memories tied to the flowers in his lungs made sense now.

“It’s a little worse than that. Not only would you forget them, you’d never be able to remember them again. So you could walk out of here, your brother could reintroduce you, and the next time you saw them you’d have no clue who they were. Depending on who it is, that could…”

“Yeah, no, that’s not an option.” There was no way he was putting Cas through that. “Is there any other way?”

“No. Win their love, forget them, or die of unrequited love. I’m sorry. Can I ask who it is?”

“It’s… look, I know it’s weird, but there’s actually two people. They’re both outside, and in love with each other. I guess Cas telling us about his relationship with Meg is what triggered this?”

“The angel and the demon? They’re together?” Tasha couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, but she caught it quickly and apologized. “Sam, you should tell them.”

“No. They’re together, they’re happy, I… they’ll be fine without me. They’ll look after Dean for me.”

 

Outside, the second the door had closed behind Tasha and Sam, Dean had dropped the smile. “Go look at her all you want, Max. I’m listening in.”

Max smirked. “You’ll need my help. Mom’s got it warded against eavesdropping.”

“Well then, help me.”

Alicia rolled her eyes and headed over to Cas and Meg while Max created a hole in the wards for Dean to listen through. As soon as Sam mentioned names, Dean saw red. He left the door and walked over to the others, where he promptly threw a punch at Cas. “I told you a million times Sammy’s in love with you, and you never listened. Never believed me. Now he’s dying and it’s all your fault. There’s no way he’s letting you fix him.”

“I don’t understand.” Cas reached for Dean’s hand and healed it. “How is this my fault?”

“You know how Sam’s in love with you? That’s what those flowers are tied to. You chose a demon over him, and now this curse is gonna kill him.” Dean whirled on Meg. “You too. Only reason you’re not getting punched is because I hadn’t been telling you for years and getting ignored.”

Cas and Meg looked at each other, faces mirror images of shock. “Dean, I… I’m sorry. I should have believed you,” Cas said.

“Yes, you should’ve. Bit late now.”

 

Sam came out of the house, Tasha behind him. He’d made his decision. “Hey, guys. There’s nothing we can do about this, not without messing up my head worse than I’m willing to live with, so… I’ll fight as long as I can, but eventually, I’m gonna die.” He looked straight into Dean’s eyes. “Let me go, Dean. You know I’d rather die than have you do something stupid.”

“Sam.” Sam looked over to Castiel, who looked wrecked in a way Sam would never have expected. “Sam, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Dean tried to tell me, but I…”

Meg rolled her eyes and walked up to Sam. “You’re an idiot.” She reached up and pulled Sam’s head to where she could reach his lips. If Sam had realized what she was doing, he’d have stopped her a lot sooner, but once she was kissing him, it was too late. He didn’t kiss back, not at first, but Meg didn’t need to breathe and it didn’t seem like she was planning on letting go until he did kiss back.

As soon as Meg backed off, Sam shoved her away. “Cas, I’m sorry, I…”

“Shut up, Sam. You big stupid idiot. You could’ve said something. Cas could’ve had me a long time ago. He just didn’t think it was fair to do that when it felt too much like settling for me because he couldn’t have you.” Meg punched his shoulder.

“What?” Sam looked between the two. “Meg, you… Cas loves you. I know he does.”

“Yeah, he does. Cas, you wanna jump in here?”

Castiel came forward. “Sam, I’ve loved you for years now. It took me too long to realize it, but when I went to get you from Lucifer’s cage, I did that for love. I always assumed that because of all the ways I betrayed your brother and you, I had no chance. Dean figured it out and tried to tell me you loved me, but I didn’t believe him. I didn’t see how you could. I know it’s too late to tell you now, you’re dying, and I will not betray you again by curing you against your will, but I do want you to know that this is my fault. You’re dying because of me.”

Meg smacked Cas upside the head. “Stop that. No guilt tripping yourself.”

Sam tried to figure out what to say here. Not that Cas’s love did any good without Meg’s as well, but just knowing Cas loved him made facing his death seem that much harder. He was glad to know, but it came with the knowledge that Cas was going to have trouble letting him go too. “I’m sorry, too, Cas. And Meg’s right. This isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

“My turn. Sam. Come on. Remember how much fun I had when you were my meatsuit?” Sam remembered, all right. Meg had really loved using his body. “Now that a stupid angel has corrupted… or uncorrupted, I guess? Anyway. Changed me enough that I can love someone, it’s not just Cas. I love you too. Just figured after Ruby there was no chance in Hell, pardon the pun.”

Sam opened his mouth to tell her she was wrong, that he’d tried but couldn’t help himself, but he couldn’t speak. He started coughing. This one felt a million times worse than any of the previous ones. He fell to his hands and knees, tears streaming from his eyes as he coughed harder and harder. He could feel Cas and Meg’s hands on his back, smacking to help him cough.

Finally, it ended. Sam wiped the blood from his lips and stared at the ground in front of him. This wasn’t just petals, or clusters. He’d coughed out entire flowers, roots and all, and they lay in a tangled mass in front of him, along with quite a bit of blood. There was no way he’d be able to stand up. He could barely keep from faceplanting, but Cas and Meg took his arms and got him to a position he could manage.

“Sammy?” Dean stared at the mess. “Sammy, are you okay?”

Meg squeezed Sam’s arm. “Please tell me you remember us. That was the reason we couldn’t take the flowers out, right?”

Sam nodded. “Meg. Cas. The angel and demon who I love and who love me.”

“Meg loves you too?” Dean heaved a giant sigh of relief.

“You weren’t listening?”

“Nah. Figured the conversation would be awkward enough, decided to give you three some privacy.”

“Anyway, yeah. I remember you both. I should be good. Cas, can you check, make sure there’s nothing left in there?”

Cas put a hand to Sam’s back. “Your lungs are clear. What happens now?”

“I go back to Max and Alicia, and we go find ourselves some fun, and you and Meg take Sammy home and figure out where you go from here.” Dean looked between them. “Meg, shovel talk goes for Sammy too. Cas… don’t make me regret doing a cursory job of shovel talk.”

Cas reached around Sam to take Meg’s hand, and flew the three of them back to the Bunker. “Sam, Meg and I…”

“Look, I know you guys are together, and I’m not looking to mess that up. You saved my life, and I’m very grateful, and honored to know you love me. But…”

Meg smacked the back of his head. “Unless the next words were going to be ‘I can’t share, so I can’t join you guys’, then shut up. I can share. So can Cas. We talked about this when we got together, when Cas realized I loved you too. Think you can do it?”

“Cas?”

“We spoke, and we agreed that if you ever did, by some miracle, fall for either or both of us, you could have whatever you wanted, on the condition that it didn’t require us to break up with each other.”

Sam shook his head. “I’m not asking you two to break up. But if there’s room in your relationship for me, if you think we can make this work…”

Castiel nodded. “The worst that happens is we try and fail. I would prefer that to not trying.”

“Yeah, what he said. Let’s do this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hanahaki Disease is a trope I found in the Yuri!!! on Ice fandom. Unrequited love causes someone to cough up flowers, gradually worsening until they die. Typically it can be cured with surgery, but at the cost of forgetting the one you love.
> 
> Comments prevent this disease! ;-)


End file.
